69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
