My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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