I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize