do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
