I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
