im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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