Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
