she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
