the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
