12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
