okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
