stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
