the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i wish my penis had a tongue
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
