I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
