Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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