Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
