I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
