Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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