threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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