it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize