so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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