I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
