If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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