he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
