I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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