i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
