You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
