no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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