The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
