Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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