The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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