I met the friendliest cop last night
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
