i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Randomize
