think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
