Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
