Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
