all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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