she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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