in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
