margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
