I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize