So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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