i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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