i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
