Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I will die if light touches me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
