Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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