i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize