So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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