so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
