Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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