I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
