and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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