He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My bed smells like the plague
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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