last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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