Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize