Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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