I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
they need to just BURY HIM!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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