oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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