every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
