We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
