I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
