my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
